Welcome In

It's got to come out before you can let anything in.

It was a passing statement by a friend in our conversation, and it kinda struck me. Recently I've been asking myself questions. About my work, about my ministry. About my life, about what I can do better. About being a good example, about youth ministry.

And so I read books. I do my quiet time. I pray to God. I serve in church. I share my feelings to another. I talk to people. I seek for answers. I observe myself with others. I listen to what people say. I ask what they think. And most importantly, I let God speak.

God reminded me about that it's not what I want, but what He wants. He reminded me about coming out my comfort zone to meet the needs of others. He reminded me about putting others first.

And so I try. Yes, I try. It was ok, going well, but I find myself coming back to Him again for the motivation. For the passion. For the desire. What's wrong? - I asked. Why is it so difficult to do just that, to put God first? To put others first?

And I realized, I can't put God (and others) first because someone else is. I can't let them into my heart because someone else is inside.

It's got to come out before you let anything in.

And that "it" is me. And I guess I was still being in the centre of the things I do, as much as I try to put others first. My friend was right in another choice of word to describe it - ego. My ego was the one driving me to do it, not God, not others. My ego was hurt when I fail. And that is why I fail. Probably the "I" needs to take a bow and be just another normal "i".

i need kick myself out of myself so that God can come in. So that others can come in. i need to take the "i" out of the "it", so that what remains is the cross ("t"). And the cross is what should be in me, an example of the agape love of God - love for others, for us which nailed Him there.

Get out, Jun Yi, get out. Come in, Jesus, come in. Come in, friends, come in. Come in, people, come in. Welcome in.

There will be times when that little "I" tries to find his way back in. But God, fill me enough with the love for others that there is no more space for it. And remind me again and again who rules my life.

"Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central...Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine", but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I am not going back on that."

Galatians 2:20 (The Message)

Welcome in.